And by minute, I mean a super long minute.
Apparently along with the MANY other things I cannot commit to, keeping up with a daily blog post about random things my kid says is one of them. Or she just has not said anything over great over the last while.
So just for that, I will hit ya with what has happened over the last couple weeks. some good, some not so good, some vomit worthy (I’m still surprised I didn’t vomit actually) and some that will make you cringe.
We have been pretty slow at work lately, I work in the trades so this time of year is always hit and miss, although it is the slowest we have ever been. I worked a grand total of 13.5 hours last week… Woooo. That will be great for Christmas shopping, wont it?
On the Tuesday of last week (why does everything significant happen on a Tuesday?) we had a major power outage. By major, I mean 1/3 of the entire province was without power. Three substations tripped and were damaged due to the heavy hoarfrost and rime frost on the overhead lines.Below is an accurate description of the frost.
Even if I had work, there would have been no way to test anything to figure out what was wrong because everyone was in the dark. That was a really lame electrical joke. I apologize now
Moving on. I had my work Christmas party this weekend, which was entertaining to say the least. We went to a local steakhouse which is normally extremely good, except for Sunday night. Yes, my work christmas party was on a Sunday, whatever.
We had THREE people serving us, two of which were managers. They still f*cked up 3 of six meals! One person is celiac so its crucial they have a gluten friendly/free meal, they screwed that one up. One person’s lobster was severely under-cooked, AND they completely FORGOT to put in the order for my dates meal. How bogus is that?! We weren’t and aren’t even difficult people to begin with! Needless to say, they comped three of our meals and I’m pretty sure fired someone that night. The rest of the night was a great time and we all laughed off the bad luck of the dinner.
Skip on over to Monday! It was actually a good day! Good lord, did she just say that Monday was a good day!? Yes. I. Did. I didn’t end up working which usually is not a good thing when the company is pretty slow BUT I got to junk out majorly on all the unused toys and clothing in E’s room and toy box. Every mom knows how good it feels to be rid of things lying around that don’t get played with.
Along comes Monday night, the crotch-fruit has gone to bed exceptionally well and so I get a decent nights sleep…until 4am anyways. side note: we live with Granny, this is important. My mom comes into my room at 4am and says ” I hear a mouse in the ceiling, I will be making noise. I’m sorry”
Okay cool, we have mice. Not. She comes back in ten minutes later asking for help because she can’t get rid of it. So here I go, traipsing down the stairs in my gitch and climb the ladder to look in the ceiling. I look to where the squeaking is coming from and there is not one mouse but THREE OF THEM. They were stuck to glue traps thankfully, so I pried those out and got rid of them as humanely as I could. So now we have yet another mouse problem to keep an eye on.
I couldnt go back to sleep for an HOUR after that, so I am thankful that I didn’t have to work Tuesday either and could actually sleep-in until 7:30.
Tuesday was uneventful until the middle of the night. It seems to be a theme, that something goes arry in the middle of the night this week.
The dog just farted and its absolutely rancid. Just had to throw that in there so you could imagine suffering like I am with the smell as I type this.
Anyways, Tuesday night, around 12:30/1:00 am, E wakes up. “Mummmmmmyyyyy!” in a panicked voice. I go rushing in there and she says “I have to poop mummy”
*OH SHES ALSO MOSTLY POTTY TRAINED FINALLY*
I say to her, “okay quick to the bathroom!” I turn on the hall light after shes in the bathroom as to not blind her completely. She is hysterically crying now and I have no idea why. Then I stick my fingers in the back of her pull-up to pull it off and I stuck my fingers right into diarrhea.
Fuck. Me. Again, I am really surprised I did not immediately vomit at this point
I pulled off all her clothes and clean her up and stick her on the toilet, she is still crying and I say “I am going to get you new jammies and check to make sure there is no poop in your bed okay?”
She whimpers out a “yeah mummy” and stops crying as if that statement saved the whole day.
It was contained. Dear lord, thank god it was contained to the pull-up. She also went straight back to bed with absolutely no issues at all. I was still gagging.
And that brings us to, Wednesday. Oh shit, that’s today.
Well in that case, I will hit you with our regular scheduled programming on Shit my kid says.
Driving home today,
E: Mum, I want to watch a meemee.
M: *knowing full well she means movie* I don’t know what a meemee is, honey.
E: a meemee!
M: I thought I was a meemee?!
E: NO! You a baby, mama!
M: did you just call me a baby mama?!
E: Yaaahhh!
I mean, she’s not wrong, technically I am since I am not with her dad. *insert laughing emoji here*
Moe Reality 