Doctor

The last few weeks, E has had this nasty cold. I get it, it is that time of year so germs, colds and viruses are running rampant.

With this cold we have gone to the doctor twice because its just that deep and nasty sounding when she coughs.

Each time we have gone, they ask the problem and before I can explain whats going on, a little voice pipes up and says…

‘IM BIZABESS WITCHMON. I BARF IN MY BED!’

The doctors, both times looked at her with such bewilderment. I was almost embarrassed.

Yes Honey, you barfed in your bed but thats not why we are here.

The words out of babes mouths.

Snoring

Trying to get the small person to go to bed since, well, bed time was an hour ago…..

It’s time for bed honey

‘No! I’m reading! See mummy. I’m reading!’

Okay…

‘DER IS A HIPPOPAMAMUS SNOWING IN MY EAR!’

Theres a hippopotamus snoring in your ear?

‘YAAAAAA’

It’s bed time. Seriously.

Crustless…

HOT DOGS

my child made me cut the ‘crust’ off her hot dog.

I get the bread for sandwiches and toast or hard parts a bagel. Even the skins off of cucumbers

But a freaking hot dog?!

My kid is an arse.

Whales in the sky

Driving to the store after picking E up from daycare, conversations happen like this..

‘Mummy!!! Wook it! Whaaaaaaalllle!’

There’s a whale??

‘Yaaaaaaaaap! In da sky! A whale!’

No way!? There’s a whale in the sky?!’

‘Yaaaaaaaaaapppppp!!!!! It’s meat!’

It’s neat?

‘Yep. Whale in da sky and cowds. It’s meat’

The lake

Driving home from daycare goes a little like this each day …..

[ our city is built around a small lake ]

‘Mum! Waadddaaaaa!!!’

Yes honey, that’s the lake!

‘No mummy. It’s wadda!’

All that water is what we call a lake.

‘NO. It’s wadda’

‘What dee-ing mummy?’

I’m driving

‘Ooooh. You diving?’

Yes. Mum is driving

‘Oooh.’

‘SCOO BUSS YEEWWWWOOOWWWW!!’

‘Hi city bus! Mummy, I go on city bus with Ryker and Manny!’

Yes you went on the bus to the museum with Ryker and Mandy.

‘RYKER! NO PITTING! NO SCEAMING’