The lake

Driving home from daycare goes a little like this each day …..

[ our city is built around a small lake ]

‘Mum! Waadddaaaaa!!!’

Yes honey, that’s the lake!

‘No mummy. It’s wadda!’

All that water is what we call a lake.

‘NO. It’s wadda’

‘What dee-ing mummy?’

I’m driving

‘Ooooh. You diving?’

Yes. Mum is driving

‘Oooh.’

‘SCOO BUSS YEEWWWWOOOWWWW!!’

‘Hi city bus! Mummy, I go on city bus with Ryker and Manny!’

Yes you went on the bus to the museum with Ryker and Mandy.

‘RYKER! NO PITTING! NO SCEAMING’

Mah Woom

E is sitting on my bed while I get ready.

One of the cats casually walks out of her room.

‘Que mah woom!’

Yeah Que was in your room. He was in the window.

‘NO. Que Out mah woom. NO go mah woom!

*second cat goes into her room.

‘Wasco! Get out mah woom!’

Go do something about it then.

*E hops off the bed and charges the cats.

‘Out maaaaahh wooooomm!’

‘Hi Ganny!’

Well that’s how the morning started

Sh*t my kid says

So I’ve decided to turn this into a daily dose of sh*t my kid says.

So without further ado

‘Mummy, I go see Ryker?!’

Yes, you’re going to daycare to see Ryker.

‘Mummy, I go see Manny?!’

Yes, you’re going to daycare to see Mandy.

‘But no Joni’

Why not Joni??

‘Cause Joni werking’

Honey, Joni works at daycare, you’re going to see Joni.

‘NO! Joni werking!’

Okay.

Well. I’ve been crying off and on since about 10pm last night and I hadn’t even left yet.

Why does the first time you leave your little person have to be such a bitch?!

I need this trip so badly but it’s absolutely crushing me right now.

I have no issues sending E to her dad’s over night. Maybe it’s because I’m leaving her for 5 nights, while I go to another country where it’s not as easy for me to just handle things if they go array.

I mean, I get to sleep in! I don’t even know what that is any more!! I feel like an old timey story coming on…

‘It’s been three long years…’. Seriously though. I. Get. To. Sleep. In. Past. 6:30am.

I’m such a ball of emotions right now. So none of this makes sense I’m sure. I’m sad then I’m happy. Then sad again.

I ‘borrowed’ my littles favourite princess figurine as well as Steve the Giraffe so I could take airplane photos with her looking out the window. I hope she doesn’t try looking for it all weekend. If she does…well, poor dad.

Ps. It’s been a full week since I wrote this. The weekend was amazing.

kids

It would be fun they said.

No one tells you that they can be secretly little demons in a pint sized form.

Seriously.

My kid went to daycare today in her pajamas. PAJAMAS! She woke up normally, in  relatively great mood, but all hell broke loose when I told her that I needed to change her diaper. Good lord. Who knew that taking off ones pajama pants would mean the end of the world as we know it.

So she went to daycare in her pajamas. Take that moms whose kids look like they’re in vogue magazine every minute of every day! Actually, there are no parents that are like that at our daycare and I am SO thankful for it. At least I got her hair brushed today so thats a win.

Then this morning I find out that my kid doesn’t like the fact that she is no longer the only girl in her toddler class. She and the other little girl don’t get along very well. I don’t know whether I should be proud because she wants to be the leader in things or be worried that she is potentially a bully to this other little girl. Maybe a little of both? They are only 2 after all, but it better to curb any type of bullying behaviors early in life. Time will tell, or daycare will tell me.

The other half of the demon in my child decided she wanted one specific headband with attachable clip in order to go to bed. Well, hell. Do you think I could find it before bedtime? Absolutely not. E went and hid it. In a jar of all places. In a freaking jar. Thank god I did find it because it was almost the apocalypse in my house. Once I handed it to her, it was like nothing was wrong. HOW DO TINY PEOPLE DO THAT!? Absolute meltdown to the happiest kid on earth in 2.6 seconds. Its fascinating, but exhausting. Oh boy is it exhausting.

Also, we had a dad win tonight!  I have spent the last week trying to find E’s Rapunzel doll to no avail. Dad found it tonight! Yay! Definitely a life saver when it comes to E wanting all thing “Jordyn” aka Rapunzel who she refuses to call Rapunzel. So Dad to the rescue by finding the doll under the couch, which I swear I looked under at least a thousand times.

I’ll just chalk all of my little Miss’ attitude and temperaments to the fact that she has four teeth coming in at once. Now her little symmetrical gaps will be filled in finally.

Yep.

That is why shes a pint sized emotional ball of fire mixed with more sass than I can handle.

(end note; she is my flesh and blood, of course she is all of that and a bag of potato chips)

She said..

Do ALL of the things today!!

As I mentioned in my previous post earlier today(yes I know to posts in one day. Holllyyy poop)  I was unable to work today. So I was going to take advantage of the day and get things done.

So much for that. I mean I got my paperwork done and about two and half loads of laundry done. I say two and half because I am almost positive that one is still in the washing machine. I haven’t ventured downstairs since about 2pm to check.

Today all I got accomplished was watching The Justice League *finally* annnnndddd get a speeding ticket.

Yep you read that right. I got a freaking speeding ticket. My kid wasn’t even with me so I couldn’t blame it on her! Damn. I knew I was going to get one too. I was coming off of one off ramp going towards an on ramp (makes no sense I know) and didn’t bother to, you know, brake. There were no cars in front of me so I figured I could just coast it.

Boom. There it was, the silvery green unmarked police truck sitting in the approach between the two directions of traffic. I knew I was done at the moment. So then I decided to go slower, only because I knew he was going to pull me over anyways.

He came up to the window, I had everything ready already and he says “You know why I pulled you over right?” I just laughed and said ‘yep, I was speeding’ The officer then told me how fast I was going and I was more than welcome to come check his radar. I said ‘No need, I believe you’

My dumbass was doing 94km in a 70km zone. Oops.  My bad! It could have been worse though so theres a silver lining to it I suppose. [ For those wondering, I came off of a road that was 100km zone, I just didn’t brake enough to make the vehicle coast down to the proper speed, plus it turns into another highway right away]

I laughed about it the rest of the way to my destination. The ONE time I actually dont brake coming off the ramp and there is a freaking radar set up. I am still laughing about it.

So to end this delightful Tuesday, I accomplished absolutely nothing productive except maybe bathe the small human and put her to bed on time. #Winning

 

Tuesday..again

Tuesday’s seem to be my favourite to post about. Who knew?

So I cant work today. (shucks, I know,but I literally have no work truck as the other Journeyman took it out of town). So I figure I would take the small human to daycare anyways and get some things done around the house.

Well I dropped her off at 8am this morning. It is now 9:50am. Only just got one load of laundry in. God damnit, I am a lazy fuck.

On the Bright side (why bright is capitalized I do not know. Deal with it) I did get my paperwork done finally. It was supposed to be handed in yesterday morning but, well, Mondays. Am I right? Ya, I am. I also had family in from Ontario all weekend so we spent their last day with them yesterday instead of going to work and daycare. Well worth it.

I have to laugh because my almost two year old wakes up at 6:45 yelling ‘Mummy!! Nuggoe!! Nuggoe mummy!’  Damn, I was hoping to shower while she slept. Never fails.

So I go get her from her crib, take her to my bed and the whole time she is saying ‘hi mummy.’ We lay down and she looks at me firmly and in this cheesy grin says ‘kisssseesssss!’ and pulls my face in to give me a kiss and then asks for a hug. She always says thank you after. So I mean, she’s polite at least. Must be doing something right. Makes up for letting her eat tostito chips and grapes for supper last night.

Then we start in on ‘momomoannnnaaaa’ until I turn on Moana. We watch this about 50 thousand times a day that I am almost sure I renamed her Hie Hie. Boy does she get upset when the coconuts steal him after he eats the Heart. ‘MUMMY TICKEN! HEART! BACK!’ so after I reassured her that they would get him back I go have a shower.

I come back to my room and this little cheeky, mischievous grin comes across her face and my thoughts immediately are ‘Oh God what did you do!’. I then hear a series of poots, toots and fluffs and her looking at me saying ‘Faahhhted!’ and giggles.

Why kids think bodily functions are so freaking hilarious is absolutely beyond me. Makes my day happier though, provided there are no explosions that go along with it.

Thats my Tuesday…..so far anyways as theres at least a days worth of laundry to do yet.

 

Mind Blown

My kid just ASKED to go to bed. Well, not JUST, since it is about 2 hours later.

Seriously though, who is this child. The one who fights me when it is bath and bed time, ASKED me if she could go to bed.

On top of it all, she slept for 3 freaking hours this afternoon. THREE! Now you’re thinking ‘Man I could do ALL of the things in that time period!’ Did I? Fuck, no. I did not. I did not do a damn thing. I watched a show, I cannot even remember what show I watched. Clearly zoned out on my own world.

I have to hand it to her though, she did really well on this highly active weekend and two out of 4 nights in bed an hour later than usual. So she napped for three this afternoon and went to bed an hour early tonight.

I feel kind of bad though because she didn’t eat a real supper while we were out, just filled up on tostito chips, grapes and cookies. So when we got home at 645, I made her some fettuccine alfredo. I also had no idea what the hell she was trying to tell me over and over after only eating two bites of pasta. The word ‘Bit’ kept coming out and I couldn’t figure out what she was getting at until she said it and put her hand on her head and then said it again and put her hand over her eyes.

So after I got her ready for bed and put her down, which she went like a dream, she asked me to ‘nuggew’ for a minute which she rarely wants to do anymore. I picked her up and we snuggled a little bit and she went back down easily.

I came out of her room with every intention of writing right away, but instead I wasted two hours of my life on social media and writing a post that I highly doubt I will ever publish.

Low and behold, two hours later, I have written this master piece!

Just kidding, its not a master piece. I have no idea what I am doing.. Add Blogging to the below picture and its an accurate description of my life.

 

Anxiety.

How I know my anxiety is affecting me.

I was driving on Ring Road and looked over at the rail crossing where a semi had collided with a train and started thinking about what I would do if I ever was sitting waiting for a train to go by and got rear ended. In turn causing a collision with the train. Then it turned into what I would do if I lost an arm in an accident such as that. I wouldn’t be able to work in my field of choice any longer.

The thoughts just kept spiralling. How would I put my hair in an elastic? How would I change my daughters diapers? If I lost my dominant arm, how hard would it be to learn how to write nicely again and maybe I should start practicing.

Next thing I know, I am two exits past where I wanted to be and have to back track quite a bit.

I hate days like this.

It really is Tuesday

Alright, a couple things.

1. I need some serious help in the eyebrow drawing department. They are absolutely atrocious. So I figured, why the hell not and bought an eye brown pencil tonight. Yeaaaaaaahh ’bout that. Imma need to Youtube that shit apparently. and maybe tweeze them to give them a shape hahaha. It has been months since Ive tried to tame those bad boys.
2. I have been feeling really own and hard on myself as of late. I weighed myself not too long ago and I am approximately 20lbs heavier than I was when I was 9 months pregnant and ready to explode. Its my own fault though, I lack motivation to go to the gym, work out at home, eat better, even make myself a lunch each day. I suck at it. If I didn’t have to do anything about diet or working out and not have to pay a million dollars for a special weight loss pill, then I would do it in a heart beat. Once its warmer out then I will be more inclined on actually walking outside each day but when its snowy and colder than my black heart then it is a little harder to get out. I do need to do something about it though. I’m half assed on track with having the material things in my life pulled together so I am having a little more energy from that. I am a long ways away from where I want to be in so many aspects of my life though  and tired. I am just tired all of the time. Atleast I have been sleeping somewhat better because the spawn is also sleeping better.

Some days my anxiety goes through the roof. I’m really hoping that by writing this blog atleast every couple of days, it will hep me release some of the anxiety that I feel. I sometimes write things down on paper but I don’t keep up with it because, well, who wants to tell a piece of paper their feelings. This way it feels like I am telling someone, even if no one that ever reads any of this.

I will get my story out piece by piece over time but for now this will be for the little things.

As a side note, The Curse of Sleeping Beauty on Netflix, isn’t that great. Kinda weird. Definitely not a favourite, I would choose to watch Moana for the 15th time in two days instead.

So if anyone who comes across this blog post, and actually reads it the entire way through. If you have any suggestions on how to boost energy and motivation, or your favourite brow tutorial, drop me a line. I’d love to figure this stuff out.