Alright, so I’ve been meaning to start something like this for a while now and finally acted on it.
I needed to get some words out so I figured it was a good time to do it and share all the words with whom ever may come across this.
I’ll start off with saying a bit about who I am. My name is Melissa. I am a 28, soon to be 29 year old working female single mother. I am a Journeyperson Electrician and have had my certification for two years now. I have a two year old, spunky, charismatic, stubborn, beautiful little girl who is the thing that keeps me going.
I do my best as any parent does but some days get the best of me just like anyone else.
Today is not a good day. It is not completely horrible but its not good. That is the best way I can describe it. I feel as if I am not in a good place in my life right now. I am exhausted all of the time, I cant work up the energy to do the simplest of things like keep my laundry straight. My house is a complete disaster and I come home, see it and just want to crawl into a hole and not deal with it. If I am sleeping, I cant see it right? Well I still think about it all of the time. I am stressed out at work, things haven’t been going the greatest and I am honestly trying so hard. I don’t know what else to do.
Being a single mother definitely has its perks but it also has its setbacks. Not being able to have much time away or just a moment to myself is one of the setbacks. I wouldn’t change my life for the world but sometimes a girl just needs a break. I’m sure a lot of people feel that way regardless if they are single, married, in a relationship, a parent, a teenager, an elderly person. Anyone.
I don’t have it in me to pawn her off on anyone as I feel that I am just inconveniencing them and that takes a toll on me as is. Oh I feel stupid right now, crying just thinking about it and typing this.
I have an amazing support system, yes I live with my mother, so she gets to see her grand-baby every day. (I’m also not ashamed to be living at home still. It creates a good space for my daughter and heps me save money) My daughter’s daddy is also my best friend, which is amazing. I wouldn’t want to co-parent with anyone else in the world and we are incredibly blessed with the situation we do have. Just sometimes I do feel that I am being a burden on others when I ask them to take her for the day or evening or whatever it may be, but then I feel that I am burdening myself when I am not with her because I miss her so much and I feel guilty by not being with her. Self guilt is so much of a thing in life that gets way more intense once you have children. Its unreal.
Anyways, now that this first post is a pile of mumbo jumbo, I will end it with a hopeful look into the future of more days in my life of a working full time mom and the adventures of my pint sized human.
- Moe
Moe Reality 